What to do When you're Wronged: Counseling Therapy Tips

posted Sep 1, 2012, 3:43 PM by AJ Centore

Living life is easy when everyone treats you well. You’re happier, you have high levels of self-confidence, and you feel like everyone is on your side. However, what happens when someone treats you bad or wrongs you? When a person is wronged, they tend to change their whole perception on life; they lose confidence in themselves, they become more pessimistic, etc. It only takes one person to wrong you to turn your day from beautiful to depressing. People will wrong you whether you like it or not, but it’s how you react when your wronged that will determine the type of life you choose to live: a happy one or a sad one. If you want to choose the happier life, follow the 5 tips below in order to react properly when someone wrongs you. Note: This article was written by Thriveworks Cambridge Therapy non-clinical staff writer)


1)   Do nothing – The mistake that most people make when others wrong them is that they immediately do something about it. When someone wrongs you, you will be tempted to immediately react, but these are just your emotions talking. So remember to pause a bit when someone wrongs you in order to recollect your thoughts


2)   Measure the Situation – Right when someone wrongs you, rate their action on a scale of one to ten on how bad their action was. If their action was a 2 or 3, then don’t immediately let your emotions take over. For instance, if someone gives you a dirty look, just shrug it off, there’s no need to go to war with him or her; your better off ignoring his or her action.


3)   Surround yourself with Positivity – Most people tend to be depressed not because they live sad lives, but because they are surrounded by jerks that make them sad. If you tend to have “friends” that wrong you by making fun of you excessively, then it is in your best interest to ditch these friends. If you’re surrounded by nothing but friends who help you out, then you will never feel wronged by them.


4)   You’re in Control – The world is surrounded by lots of jealous people who want to wrong you in order to make themselves feel better. Always remember that you’re in control of your life, no one else. So if someone wrongs you by making fun of the clothes you wear, how you act, and what you do, ignore them because you know yourself better than they know you.


5)   Don’t be Afraid to Get Witty – When someone wrongs you, usually the first emotion you go through is anger. It is in your best interest to suppress this emotion. Some people find it easier to get witty with the person that wrongs them rather than walking away; they turn the other person’s insult into a joke. For instance, if someone wrongs you by saying your clothes look stupid, don’t be afraid to get witty with them. You can say, “Thanks, my mom said the same thing.” Also, don’t be afraid to laugh off someone’s insults. When someone insults you, they are trying to toy with your emotions, but when you laugh instead of get angry, this tends to make them shut up; they realize that you’re immune to their insults.


It is up to you to decide whether or not you want to live a happy life. The ones who live happy lives are the ones who react properly to people that wrong them. I admit I used to be one of those people who didn’t know how to react properly. I learned that the more I let others get to me, the sadder I tended to be. The tips given above are tips that I constantly use when people wrong me, and by the end of the day, I’m a happier person. Just read through the tips several times and not only will you be immune to other people wronging you, but you will also have more control over your life.   To reach a therapist in Cambridge, MA, contact us anytime a617-671-1264.